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One day, 3 men died and went to heaven. "Religion?" God's secretary asked the first man. "Jewish," the man replied. "Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when…

During an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, "Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement." Glancing down at the front…

Paddy and Murphy are havin' a pint in the pub, when some scuba divers come on the TV. Paddy says, "Murphy, why is it them deep sea divers always sit…

A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red…

For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did…I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through.

Q: What do you call someone without a nose or a body? A: Nobodynose.

Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean? A: A chalkboard.

A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck. The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

An Amish husband, wife and son travel to the city on vacation. They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in…

A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the…